We had a long overdue heart to heart. The Giver and I. It boiled down – as it usually does – to trust. You see my Creator and I had not been seeing eye to eye. But I had finally come to the point of acknowledging: What you are uncovering in me is worth discovering. What … Continue reading When I doubt the Giver
I can’t do this. It’s way over my head. I was rocking back and forth in my therapists office, uncontrollably, as if my guts were going into convulsions. This began happening to me when all of the truth about my marriage started coming to light, and the reality was not what I had been telling … Continue reading Who are you looking at?
I found meaning in everything around me – the people I cared for, the jobs I did, the organizations I belonged to…I forgot to look inside. When all of those things are stripped away and I am left in the disconcerting silence, pondering who I am, the urge grips me to just busy myself with … Continue reading The disconcerting silence
Inaction never conquers fear. Staying in place and waiting for things to change never sets you free. I can’t sit cowering in the corner simply hoping that fear will go away. I have to learn to take action and confront it WHILE feeling it. I was on a suspension bridge 500 feet above the canyon. … Continue reading Unmasking fear
Self confidence is one of the casualties of an abusive relationship. You begin to doubt your own perception of things. Manipulators will make you feel like up is down and down is up and pretty soon you lose your bearings. It can be scary to lose your sense of judgment. What if I am crazy? … Continue reading Truth = Only Everything
I hated her. I would put her down everyday, every chance I got. I told her she was ugly, her hair was stupid, her legs were wierdly skinny, her teeth were too big, her face was lopsided. I held nothing back. I hated her for being shy. She would blush, question herself a hundred times … Continue reading The enemy in the mirror
It hit me as I was listening to yet another podcast about fully accepting yourself and living joyfully in the moment – that I still wasn’t quite “there”. I still struggle with my thoughts. I still feel angry sometimes for no good reason. I still get insecure or unsure of my decisions. Do these women … Continue reading Another round of blues – will healing ever happen?
Owning your life sounds like something everyone innately does – but you would be surprised by how many people actually never get to this point. To truly take ownership of one’s life means that you stop making excuses. When you complain the only thing you are really saying is that you are not in control … Continue reading I’m not yours, I’m MINE
I was the only 30 something year old in the course. The rest of the college kids looked to be in their late teens. I was thinking that I was closer in age to the professor than the students and then suddenly, in the pages of the textbook, I saw my ex husband. I had … Continue reading NPD 101: How to recognize if it’s narcissistic personality disorder
We all get lied to. He said he loved me. She said she had a business meeting. They said they were growing the branch. This last lie was presented on a pretty little plate and fed to my husband at his interview as branch manager. This particular branch was struggling, but corporate claimed they wanted … Continue reading Waking up in a web of lies