He hears us.
We had left the restaurant early and in silence. I had said something wrong – I had pushed too hard. And apparently I had ruined the dinner. What followed was a long drive around in the dark while I was being told all of the things I did that were causing him to be unhappy. All of the things I did wrong. Regular lectures were part of my routine, but this one was suffocating. I felt trapped in that car like a caged animal. I couldn’t talk back. He wouldn’t allow it. I couldn’t reason – there was no logic that I could find to anything in our relationship. And I now realized I could never change things.
I was utterly helpless to bring any sanity, love, or healing to my mariage.
I remember so vividly the hot tears quietly coming down my cheeks as I lifted my hand to the window and reached towards the moon. I silently prayed. Please Rescue me. Please make this stop. Please make this stop. I knew God was out there and I was waving the white flag – I couldn’t do this anymore. I was dying on the inside and I had been beaten into an emotional coma. I felt like a drowning woman, and this was my last plea for help. I didn’t think I could hold on much longer.
And you know what? I was heard.
Not long after that night things reached a crescendo of chaos. We entered into what some would say were worse circumstances – angry blow-ups, meetings with counselors, me holding my ground, more blow-ups, silent treatments, manipulation, and me – amazingly – able to hold strong. Because I myself was being held. I felt a strength that was not my own.
God heard me and came to my rescue. He surrounded me with strong women, with books filled with knowledge and with one insightful elder who finally said that it was unhealthy enough to warrant a temporary separation. And just like that I could start to breathe again. He gave me the strength to stand up for myself and to set boundaries and to enforce them. Well, to try to enforce them.
Recently I heard Lauren Daigle’s song Rescue and of course I was in the car. The tears came as I thought back to that night over 20 years ago when I pressed my palm against the car window in despair and begged for help.
He hears our cries.
There is no situation that He is unwilling to enter. Nothing too messy for Him to take on. He is mighty to save! He is stronger than all of our enemies combined. And He is listening for your cry.