He hears us. We had left the restaurant early and in silence. I had said something wrong – I had pushed too hard. And apparently I had ruined the dinner. What followed was a long drive around in the dark while I was being told all of the things I did that were causing him … Continue reading Ask
I was always a very obedient young child. I asked for permission. I listened to my parents. I mostly did as I was told. When you grow up as a pastor’s kid and a missionary kid you learn very quickly that people are watching and you will be doubly judged for your misdeeds – once … Continue reading Waiting for permission
It may look like I’m surrounded but I’m surrounded by YOU. I sang this worship song with tears streaming down my cheeks while driving to work. Driving has always been wonderful therapy for me to process fears and sorrows…mainly because when I am NOT in the car I am busy doing something and the processing … Continue reading Surrounded
Self confidence is one of the casualties of an abusive relationship. You begin to doubt your own perception of things. Manipulators will make you feel like up is down and down is up and pretty soon you lose your bearings. It can be scary to lose your sense of judgment. What if I am crazy? … Continue reading Truth = Only Everything
I hated her. I would put her down everyday, every chance I got. I told her she was ugly, her hair was stupid, her legs were wierdly skinny, her teeth were too big, her face was lopsided. I held nothing back. I hated her for being shy. She would blush, question herself a hundred times … Continue reading The enemy in the mirror
Women are remarkable. All throughout history we have been carrying half if not more of the load. We have raised the men that have maintained power over us for centuries. We have created, nurtured, constructed, invented, fought, settled, discovered, cured and provided during every minute of the past five thousand years. Really ever since the … Continue reading Feminine Alliance – you are needed!
….saith the Lord. Amen. I remember being so full of rage that I couldn’t sleep. I was so furious at what was being done not only to me but to my children. That part was actually the worst one. You wanna mess with me fine, I’m a big girl and I was finally waking up … Continue reading Vengeance is mine…
It happened. It was wrong, and it hurt – in fact it may have hurt so bad and messed you up so much you didn’t know if you would get through it. You had to fight hard, to the point you thought your strength was all gone, and then you had to fight some more. … Continue reading Victim or victor – the fine line
She was the latest and greatest: Rub-A-Dub dolly, the baby doll you could bathe in the bathtub. You could even wash her hair. I loved her with all the fervent devotion of a four-year old and I would lovingly comb her wet, messy “doo” with my little fingers after every bath. However the eyes of … Continue reading The dragon and the dolly
So I’m human. You can’t fault a cat for sleeping 18 hours a day, or a snail for taking 2 hours to cross the street. I’m human, therefore I live my life having human moments. I drop things. I forget things. I make wrong turns and drive the wrong way down one-way streets. I miss … Continue reading Humin moments
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