Your own personal fragrance

We all want more joy in our lives.  More contentment, love, freedom from fear and anger and oppression.  We long for true connection with others, deep understanding and appreciation.  We live in a day and age when information is EVERYWHERE and in such huge quantities that it can be overwhelming.  Everyone’s voice can be heard over the internet. Every opinion can be shared. Wisdom and solutions seem to be in everyone’s inbox.

Yet so many of us still live in a perplexed state of NOT QUITE.

We see hope on the horizon – we can smell the scent of deliverance – but it remains out of reach.  We aren’t living it yet. Not quite. And despite all of the information we read we still aren’t quite sure how to get there.

We think that maybe if we can just change our circumstances we will be one step closer to happiness.  If we looked more like that actress in the movies, or we had a job like our successful cousin, or a home like the ones on HGTV.  If we had brand named clothes and fancy cars. If our kids would just listen and cooperate, if our spouse was more understanding and present.  If my home was better organized or my body less tired all the time. We look at the outward issues in our lives and blame them for keeping us from that fullness of life we all desire.

Pop that bubble: none of those outward things will ever change your life.  They will provide temporary satisfaction, but that is not the same as a satisfied soul and a joyful existence. 

So what will ultimately bring about the change we truly need?

Learning one simple lesson.  

It has many names: Karma.  Newton’s Law.  God’s law. Reaping what you sow.  All the same concept, and a very simple one when you examine it.  But it makes all the difference.  And before you sigh and shake your head, hear me out.

I’m always amazed at how dogs relate to their world – they sense energy and react to it.  Energy from other dogs and from people. I used to think they could sense my fear, but really what they are tuning into is the terrified vibes I am unknowingly sending out.  Even when I try to mask or control it, my energy can’t lie. It tells the story of what’s REALLY going on inside.

We have all experienced a shift in the ambiance when a certain person either walks in or walks out.  Sometimes the party atmosphere comes along with them, and sometimes that icy feel permeates the room.  Your body reacts to it. You may not even notice, but it does. Your muscles may tense up. Your jaw may lock.  Your heart rate may go down. Your body senses their energy and reacts to it, either putting you at ease or on guard.  

As a teacher I witness it everyday.  If a particularly negative or whiny student is absent, the whole class feels so much smoother and more pleasant.  Students relax, smile more, work better. That negative energy is gone – it stayed home with them that day. It travels with them, in them, and oozes into every setting in which they exist.

Whether you recognize it or not, the energy you put out surrounds you and causes others to react to it.

Smiles are contagious.  Try smiling at a baby or a small child.  Or try to not smile when one smiles at you.  You can’t help it! The little grin, the twinkle in their eyes – it draws a smile and warm feelings like the smell of bacon draws my boys out of bed.  It’s a natural flow.

Whatever I am wearing on the inside turns into the invisible yet powerful energy I am spreading wherever I go – regardless of how I look on the outside.  

The energy I put out there comes back to me in the form of people’s reactions.  

What I believe about myself. What I choose to put up with. How I choose to honor or dishonor myself. The words I speak over myself. The bitterness I allow to stay. The anger I stuff everyday.

I carry it all within me and it WILL NOT be contained. It spreads like dandelion seeds, flying around and behind me, attracting either positive energy back to it like a magnet or inviting more negative reactions to join in.

Once you understand the simple lesson that YOU are responsible for your energy, and that energy is SO powerful in creating your life flow, you can no longer view yourself as a victim.

You have SO MUCH POWER to change your life!

Just change your energy.


One – Actively look for the good and fill your mind with it.  Scripture, poems, biographies of great people, life-changing stories, soul-shifting truths.  It’s all out there, I promise you. Beauty, life and hope are EVERYWHERE. Personally I have found the source of all good things through my faith, and from there I can see it in all that God has created and gifted me with.  Find your source of good and beauty.

Seek it out like an intrepid explorer.

Two – Practice gratitude every day – no matter what you feel.  Find 10 things to be grateful for. You are RICH in so many things, and yet without gratitude it’s as if you had none of it. You can only benefit from something if you acknowledge it with gratitude.  See it and thank it. It will begin to fill you with peace and ward off the gnawing sense of dissatisfaction that plagues our consumerist society and withers our spirits, keeping us dangling off the cliff of NOT QUITE.

Three – Be what you seek. Do you need more warm and friendly people in your life?  Then exude warm friendliness. Are you looking for more love? Spread it with a million little actions everyday!  More opportunities? Extend help wherever you go. Channel the very thing you want more of.

And like a boomerang, it will come back to you.

He who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly.  But she who sows richly will also reap richly.

Don’t be stingy with your energy.

You cannot run out until God takes it back from your earthly body and brings it to be with Him.

Until then you have an infinite supply – and your daily, intentional actions will determine the quality and the type of that energy.  

Some people make you feel comfortable the minute you are in their presence.  Some people tell you to get lost simply with their body language. Everyone is walking around, spreading their personal fragrance and making an impression before they ever say a word.

What does your energy say about you?  What are you manifesting into the world? Notice it for a few days. Don’t judge it, just notice.  And then work to alter it into an energy that will attract the kind of life you long for.

Be blessed in your quest!

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