Who’s got your back?

You are not alone.

I promise you that whatever you are facing today, hundreds – no, thousands – of others have faced as well.  You are surrounded by past and present lives who have felt exactly what you are feeling.  

You are not alone.

Yours is a unique combination of circumstances, a different mix, but the struggle is the same.  It can be comforting to know that others have survived – have even triumphed – over what you now face.

Because sometimes if feels like you won’t.  Like it’s too big. It’s too dark and twisted. It is relentless and you are exhausted from the constant fight.  It doesn’t fight fair, it keeps coming at you even when you are down, and you don’t know how much more you can endure.

Hang on. And turn to those who have battled before you.

There is little comfort in the company of people whose lives are sunshine and rainbows when yours is falling apart.  Seek out those who get it. They have the battle scars to prove they have been through the unthinkable and they came out alive.  They are the warriors who can help you to get through victoriously.

And in truth it may not always be a person in the flesh.  For me, sometimes it was an author who spoke the words I needed to hear;  a story that was shared on the radio that brought a tinge of hope; a song that sounded like it was written for me and my struggle… clearly others before me had felt the same.  

And that can bring – while maybe not relief – at least a sense of commonality with others which can lead us to the crucial knowledge that we are not alone.

This can change everything.

Bears are solitary animals.  They live alone, hibernate alone, and hunt alone.  The duck billed platypus also goes through his life on his own.  There are many species that go it alone and survive fine, even thrive.  But humans are not among them. We are not a solitary species, and had we tried to be we would have been extinct a long time ago. We need each other.

Don’t think it’s a sign of strength to go it alone.  It’s foolish.

Yes, you need you own your mess, and you need to face your own demons, but you can do it with the strength that comes from experienced others, the encouragement that comes from fellow travelers who have been a little further down the road.

If you ask for help, I promise you that the universe will answer you with exactly what you need. We have power divine on our side!

I remember when I was in the thick of my separation, when my ex was stringing me along and playing head games while I was working, going to school, going to therapy, and raising our two boys while trying to make ends meet with a minimum wage job.  It was intense and I was exhausted. And I was trying so hard to understand what was happening but was left dumbfounded. I brought the naive understandings of a confused co-dependent to do business with a master manipulator who was also an addict (the winning combo) and I was in over my head by a mile and sinking fast.

My rescue came through the wisdom of my therapist; through the authors of books on creating boundaries, dealing with emotional and verbal abuse, rebuilding my life, grieving the loss of a love; through amazing women who had dealt with manipulative men and could recognize that same insidious spirit and advise me how to handle it; through the psalms where David poured out his heart when he was being oppressed by Saul; through music by Stevie Nicks, Evanescence, Sheryl Crow, Kelly Clarkson and other strong women… this was my army that I surrounded myself with daily.  I knew that I was going through the hardest test I had ever faced, but I was not alone. Even though this was all new to me, countless others had encountered this before and they were there, imparting their wisdom and their insight through the spoken, written and sung word. It kept me going.

When I was numb and I couldn’t feel a thing.  And then when the numbness wore off and all I could feel was pain, and when that subsided and suddenly all I could feel was rage.  When I didn’t know if I would make it through another day…These beautiful souls kept me going.

Surround yourself with an army that will have your back and bring relief and comfort to you as you fight through your struggle.

You are not alone.

We are here for you. We’ve got your back.

You will make it through – not somehow – but triumphantly. Even if triumph at this point simply looks like making it through one more day.

You WILL look back on this, on your battle scars, and you will know that you walked off your battlefield in one piece, with your heart still working and your identity established more firmly than ever by the victory you fought to secure.  In the end you will see that even this was a gift.

You are an overcomer and you are part of a community of overcomers.  

You are not alone.  And someday you will help another struggling soul in your position, who will need  reminding that someone has their back too.

-pictures by Mohamed Hassan for Pixabay

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s